wedhouz

setelah ubuntu 5.04, suse 9, sekarang… fedora core 4. yup, beberapa hari ini sibuk nguthak nguthik linuks demi kemaslahatan batin dan hasrat jiwa sembari memanfaatkan komputer bekas baru yang disuplai dari djogjakata oleh sodara dipto djatmiroquai dan muhammad djampiroiqi.

jika untumu buntu 5.04 *dapat gratisan 10 biji* dan susyeh nyinuks 9 *pinjem di rental tapi lupa ngembaliin* dinahkodai oleh kekuatan mesin inti 2.4 cc, si pedorang kore 4 *minjam juga, moga2 ingat ngembaliin soalnya katepe saya ditahan je…* ini sudah diberi mesin dengan valve baru sebesar 2.6 cc.

secara eike ngga tau bedanya antara si 2.4 dan 2.6 dink… cuma baca2 saja ketika si linuks lagi boonting karena ngga tau kudu ngapain sewaktu nunggu ini linuks boonting yang menampilkan jajaan tulisan maut bin mawut yang artinya bikin senut2 di bagian bawah perut.

eh, pas mo nyetel lagoe2 untuk ngancanie mumet, *jika si susyeh nyinuks 9 bisa* ternyata si pedoang kore 4 rada bego + sombonk sampai berlagak ngga bisa nyetel mp3. persis sama dengan untumu buntu 5.04. jan kampret tenan!

tapi.. eitz… tunggu dulu, dengan sedikit ilmu meringakan tubuh dan jurus konkeror maka terpasanglah xmms yang didonlot dalam fomat binari(a) rpm. soale mumet yen kudu donlot jajaan baris kode sumber trus pasang perintah ./configure > tar > make > make install… asyah… mbuh ah…

maka, dengan menggunakan pedorang kore 4 dan ditemani oleh petikan guitar dab jimi jangkriks hendrix yang super melenakan jiwa dan memabukkan rasa, saya mengetik *bukan menulis* satu demi satu hurup yang kemudian membentuk tautan kata sehingga terjalin untaian kalimat yang tak berguna ini.

beberapa hari ini si hosting ngambek terus. up down, naik turun, hidup mati, sadar edan, ngalor ngidul dan ngetan ngulon
saya sampai kembang kempot ngrasakeun ini hosting yang hoyag hayig. tapi… tetep… saya berusaha enjoy
lebih enak kalo mati terus ato hidup terus, jadi jadwalnya jelas. kalo mati ya berarti prei posting dan baru terbit lagi kalo sudah murup
lha kalo oglangan kaya kiye, sudah nulis puanjang byanget *hiperbolis ki, ojo dianggap serius*. eeee… pas tiba saatnya mèjèt publish nda’ terjadi apapun. nggarai mangkel™ tur rodo nggonduk™
tapi ya itu tadi, karena ngebloq alesannya buat seneng2 dan menyalurkan hasrat tak berguna di dalam kepala, maka mangkelnya lalu dijemur, nggonduknya lalu dilempit… trus nulis lagi…

When the rain is pouring down
And no one is around
All the doors are closed
You’re a stranger in this town
Wandering around and you feel lost

Please try to find me and I’ll try to find you
You know I need you just like you need me
Please don’t give up cause we’re almost together
We’ve almost made it, hold on and you’ll see

When nobody wants to hear
What you want to say
And you feel down
when your hope has disappeared
Like a morning train
You can’t slow down

Please try to find me and I’ll try to find you
You know I need you just like you need me
Please don’t give up cause we’re almost together
We’ve almost made it, hold on and you’ll see

I’m just like you,
Oh you know it’s true
Don’t give up my friend
This is not the end

Please try to find me and I’ll try to find you
You know I need you just like you need me
Please don’t give up cause we’re almost together
We’ve almost made it, hold on and you’ll see

(more…)

If you’re like me (God help you if you are), you’re lazy. Here’s a few tips I’ve learned in my short time on this earth that have kept me from getting too much accomplished.

1. Look Busy: Having papers spead all over your desk helps, as do pencils which are whittled down to the eraser. If you have to walk somewhere, keep your head down, and walk quickly (this also works if you’re trying to avoid being called over to do work. NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!). Carrying clipboard with you while moving around also helps.

2. Look Stressed: If you look completely stressed out, co-workers and your boss will be more likely to leave you alone, since you must have other pressing matters on your mind. To look stressed leave your eyes unfocused, move from place to place quickly while quietly talking to yourself, and if someone asks you a question, stare off into the distance for a moment, give a big sigh, and answer them with an irritated tone.

3. Speak Quickly: If they can’t figure out what you said, they’ll assume you don’t have the time to explain it.

4. Hide: Find a good hiding place. A couple good examples are under a desk, in the air vents, or a janitor’s closet.

5. Break a Limb: Obviously this method only works when you work at a job that requires physical labour or typing. How you break the limb is up to you, though I recommend something spectacular (ie. snowboarding on the Alps).

6. Make Excuses: There’s nothing like having a good list of excuses on hand (Memorized, that is. A list on paper is suspicious). Ones like “I would stay late, but I have to babysit my mother’s aunt’s friend’s sister’s goldfish,” may work. Of course, ymmv.

7. Never Leave Your Office/Room: If you don’t leave your office, you are less likely to be bothered. Remember: out of sight, out of mind. Of course, you will need to ensure that you have an ample supply of rations so that you can survive until it’s time to head home. Bathroom breaks, I’m still working on.

8. What they can’t see… Rearrange your office so that your computer monitor faces away from any windows or doors that your boss may be able to see through. This will ensure that you have ample time to hit the “Boss Key” in any game you’re playing, or open a Word document to hide the porn you’re surfing, should your boss happen to wander into your dungeon..er..office.

9. Fool their eyes: If you can’t rearrange your office, perhaps employ a service like WorkFRIENDLY which acts as a proxy to mask any website that you visit. You can mask the sites to look like a Word Document and at a quick glance, they look like any other document. If the boss gets too close, click the “Boss Key” and WordFriendly will hide the website with pseudo-word document.

10. Choose a profession people don’t understand: I’m a web developer. Most people don’t REALLY understand what you need to do to be a web developer, so I might be doing a blog post, but they’re thinking I’m working. Golden!

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